1
00:00:10,731 --> 00:00:13,804
["She Drives Me Crazy"
by Fine Young Cannibals playing]
2
00:00:15,574 --> 00:00:17,177
- Oh, my God.
- [Gwen] I've been getting
3
00:00:17,177 --> 00:00:18,814
all these, like,
TikTok algorithms
4
00:00:18,814 --> 00:00:21,386
about where to put your couch
in your house.
5
00:00:21,386 --> 00:00:23,691
So what if you just put your
couch at, like, a slight angle?
6
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,828
That way you can watch TV at...
7
00:00:25,828 --> 00:00:27,832
- like, a slight angle.
- Every single one
8
00:00:27,832 --> 00:00:30,170
of these essays is so bad.
9
00:00:30,170 --> 00:00:32,609
This is the, like, Red Badge
of Courage midterm paper thing?
10
00:00:32,609 --> 00:00:35,648
Red Badge of Courage
garbage paper, I guess.
11
00:00:35,648 --> 00:00:37,418
It's like...
12
00:00:37,418 --> 00:00:39,188
I-I don't know how these kids
didn't get this book.
13
00:00:39,188 --> 00:00:40,324
It's so simple.
14
00:00:40,324 --> 00:00:42,161
Like, a young kid
goes off to war.
15
00:00:42,161 --> 00:00:45,300
Cowardice, honor. This essay
just starts with the word "Hey."
16
00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:47,839
"Hey, The Red Badge of Courage
is a book about courage."
17
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,143
- Hey, that sounds bad.
- I am a kind,
18
00:00:50,143 --> 00:00:52,448
patient teacher.
Maybe I've been too lenient?
19
00:00:52,448 --> 00:00:55,187
You know what, honestly, I bet
they didn't even read the book.
20
00:00:55,187 --> 00:00:56,724
They probably just used
Biff Notes.
21
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,493
What's Biff Notes?
That's like CliffNotes?
22
00:00:58,493 --> 00:00:59,730
He's, like, a TikTok book guy.
23
00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:01,633
Summarizes, like,
high school books.
24
00:01:01,633 --> 00:01:03,470
- [clears throat]
I don't think I've seen him. - He, like...
25
00:01:03,470 --> 00:01:05,240
he's a queer guy. Queer guy.
26
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,710
You think I know who he is
'cause he's queer?
27
00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:07,812
He did a dance
with Penn Jillette,
28
00:01:07,812 --> 00:01:09,315
and Teller wasn't there.
29
00:01:09,315 --> 00:01:10,317
They just think
they're gonna, like,
30
00:01:10,317 --> 00:01:11,620
get away with this
31
00:01:11,620 --> 00:01:13,156
because I'm gonna try
to keep the peace
32
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,458
and give them good grades
or something.
33
00:01:14,458 --> 00:01:15,862
[stammers]
I'm not gonna do that.
34
00:01:15,862 --> 00:01:18,433
They wanted a war,
they're gonna get a war.
35
00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:19,636
Don't ask, don't tell.
36
00:01:19,636 --> 00:01:21,339
- Gwen.
- Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
37
00:01:21,339 --> 00:01:23,243
That was, like, the first
war thing I thought of.
38
00:01:23,243 --> 00:01:25,380
What do you think of the couch?
39
00:01:25,380 --> 00:01:26,884
You moved that?
40
00:01:26,884 --> 00:01:29,321
♪ She drives me crazy ♪
41
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,329
- ♪ Like no one else ♪
- [Evan] Here you go.
42
00:01:35,266 --> 00:01:36,904
♪ She drives me crazy. ♪
43
00:01:36,904 --> 00:01:38,339
- Here you go.
- Yo.
44
00:01:38,339 --> 00:01:39,943
An "F"? What is this?
45
00:01:39,943 --> 00:01:41,580
I didn't even know
this was, like, a grade
46
00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:43,349
- you guys could still give out.
- You didn't?
47
00:01:43,349 --> 00:01:45,520
Are you being deadass right now?
With all due respect.
48
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:46,890
You realize this is, like,
a fourth of our grade.
49
00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:48,661
- Right here.
- Exactly.
50
00:01:48,661 --> 00:01:50,530
- You can't do this.
- What do you mean I can't do this?
51
00:01:50,530 --> 00:01:52,334
I didn't do this. You did this.
52
00:01:52,334 --> 00:01:54,505
- This is your grade
that you got. - Whatever.
53
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,342
I gave you guys a month
to read this book.
54
00:01:56,342 --> 00:01:57,612
Mr. Marquez,
55
00:01:57,612 --> 00:01:59,381
your feelings are valid.
We've all learned
56
00:01:59,381 --> 00:02:00,918
our lesson here, and...
57
00:02:00,918 --> 00:02:02,521
now you can give us B's.
58
00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:03,791
B's are good grades.
59
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,429
You didn't earn good grades!
60
00:02:06,429 --> 00:02:07,531
I am the teacher.
61
00:02:07,531 --> 00:02:09,268
This is not up for discussion.
62
00:02:09,268 --> 00:02:10,805
And that's the end of this.
63
00:02:10,805 --> 00:02:12,374
I'm posting ads on Backpage.
64
00:02:12,374 --> 00:02:13,677
Because with grades like this,
65
00:02:13,677 --> 00:02:15,446
I'm gonna have
to hit the corner, sir.
66
00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:17,886
You're my hero right now.
Seriously.
67
00:02:17,886 --> 00:02:19,656
- [laughs]
- I've always wanted to fail
68
00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:20,958
- a student. It's, like...
- Yeah.
69
00:02:20,958 --> 00:02:23,229
...impossible
to fail someone in P.E.
70
00:02:23,229 --> 00:02:25,367
- They earned F's,
so they get F's. Good for them. - [Rick laughs]
71
00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:27,371
Dude,
you're like George Clooney,
72
00:02:27,371 --> 00:02:29,408
doing funny-ass pranks
on these kids.
73
00:02:29,408 --> 00:02:32,682
It's not a prank. They're real
grades that I'm giving the kids.
74
00:02:32,682 --> 00:02:34,920
Wait, George Clooney
does pranks?
75
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,657
I got to help these kids
get into college.
76
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,959
So if you're, like,
giving them F's,
77
00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:39,563
that can honestly be
the difference
78
00:02:39,563 --> 00:02:40,698
between them getting
into a shitty college
79
00:02:40,698 --> 00:02:42,669
and a super shitty college.
80
00:02:42,669 --> 00:02:44,840
Then get them to do the work to
get into a good college, Rick.
81
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,679
Okay, you're being
fucking crazy right now. What?
82
00:02:47,679 --> 00:02:49,549
I'm just really glad I don't
have to deal with any of this,
83
00:02:49,549 --> 00:02:52,287
'cause all of my students
are well above average.
84
00:02:52,287 --> 00:02:53,657
- All of 'em?
- [Gwen] Mm-hmm.
85
00:02:53,657 --> 00:02:54,693
It's impossible
for all your students
86
00:02:54,693 --> 00:02:55,962
to be well above average.
87
00:02:55,962 --> 00:02:57,732
Some of your students
must be average.
88
00:02:57,732 --> 00:02:59,836
I'm just a good... teacher.
89
00:02:59,836 --> 00:03:01,305
Why would it...
90
00:03:01,305 --> 00:03:02,709
I'm-I'm confused.
What are you saying?
91
00:03:02,709 --> 00:03:03,978
I think some of your students
are cheating.
92
00:03:03,978 --> 00:03:05,882
No one's ever cheated
in my class.
93
00:03:05,882 --> 00:03:07,819
They're not cheating or they're
not getting caught cheating?
94
00:03:07,819 --> 00:03:09,488
[Rick]
Let me tell you something. People cheat
95
00:03:09,488 --> 00:03:10,858
- all the time.
- [Gwen] They're not cheating.
96
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,461
Cheating is trying. It's okay.
97
00:03:12,461 --> 00:03:13,597
- What?
- [Grant] Evan, come.
98
00:03:13,597 --> 00:03:14,766
- Now. Come, come.
- What? What?
99
00:03:14,766 --> 00:03:15,768
- Come.
- I'm eating!
100
00:03:15,768 --> 00:03:17,639
Yeah. You're done.
101
00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:19,910
Why am I getting calls
from parents telling me
102
00:03:19,910 --> 00:03:22,314
- you failed a bunch of kids in
your 11th grade English class? - [door closes]
103
00:03:22,314 --> 00:03:24,586
Because I failed a bunch of kids
in my 11th grade English class.
104
00:03:24,586 --> 00:03:27,291
- I'm gonna die.
- They deserved these grades, Grant.
105
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,627
- Look at this.
- Mm-hmm.
106
00:03:28,627 --> 00:03:30,631
- Read that.
-"As an A.I. language model,
107
00:03:30,631 --> 00:03:32,000
I am not able
to complete this request."
108
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,838
Why is he not able
to complete this request?
109
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,006
It means ChatGPT wrote it.
110
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,977
That not allowed?
It's the future.
111
00:03:36,977 --> 00:03:38,881
- Look at this one.
- [groans] Okay.
112
00:03:38,881 --> 00:03:40,651
"So that's what's up
with The Red Badge of Courage."
113
00:03:40,651 --> 00:03:42,020
And then he underlines it
and he puts
114
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:43,757
the "cool guy
with sunglasses" emoji.
115
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,795
- It's a clear point of view.
- This is crazy.
116
00:03:45,795 --> 00:03:48,801
Okay, Evan,
do you remember the mom,
117
00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:51,339
Linda Harrison, who complained
about you kissing Malcolm
118
00:03:51,339 --> 00:03:52,909
in front of her son?
Remember that?
119
00:03:52,909 --> 00:03:54,713
Yes, of course I remember
Linda Harrison.
120
00:03:54,713 --> 00:03:57,886
She tried to have me fired
for the sin of kissing a man--
121
00:03:57,886 --> 00:03:59,623
Well, you just failed
her younger son.
122
00:03:59,623 --> 00:04:01,459
- Oh, shit.
- Mm-hmm. And it took her all
123
00:04:01,459 --> 00:04:03,062
of 11 seconds
after your class let out
124
00:04:03,062 --> 00:04:05,601
to call my office directly
and demand a meeting with you.
125
00:04:05,601 --> 00:04:07,538
- I'm not meeting with her.
- Oh, no, no,
126
00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:09,074
no, no, no, no, no.
127
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,780
If you refuse to meet with her,
you will be fired.
128
00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:13,483
- That's not fair.
- It's not.
129
00:04:13,483 --> 00:04:15,788
But if you don't placate
this woman, then I will be fired
130
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,659
and a new principal
will be hired--
131
00:04:17,659 --> 00:04:20,932
hand-selected by Linda Harrison
and her obedient followers.
132
00:04:20,932 --> 00:04:23,403
And then, and then do you think
that a new person
133
00:04:23,403 --> 00:04:26,409
sitting in this chair
will indulge
134
00:04:26,409 --> 00:04:29,816
your-your-your noble,
principled bullshit?!
135
00:04:29,816 --> 00:04:31,820
Who's running the school, Grant?
136
00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:33,523
Is it us or is it them?
137
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,527
Them. Them. Her. Her.
138
00:04:35,527 --> 00:04:38,399
Hell hath no wrath
like a concerned parent, Evan.
139
00:04:38,399 --> 00:04:41,640
Do you have any idea
how much sway she has?
140
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,376
Sway? What do you mean, sway?
This is a public school.
141
00:04:43,376 --> 00:04:44,813
What, is she funding
the government?
142
00:04:44,813 --> 00:04:46,683
Boosters, Evan.
She and her husband Dale,
143
00:04:46,683 --> 00:04:48,687
they're massive boosters, okay?
144
00:04:48,687 --> 00:04:49,990
Their restaurant donates
145
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,595
a... [mouths] load
of money to this school.
146
00:04:52,595 --> 00:04:54,566
Well, listen, tell her
147
00:04:54,566 --> 00:04:56,970
thank you for the concern.
I really appreciate her...
148
00:04:56,970 --> 00:04:58,574
- feelings
about how I run my class. - You're meeting with her.
149
00:04:58,574 --> 00:05:00,443
Evan, don't even mess around.
150
00:05:00,443 --> 00:05:02,047
- You are meeting
with her tonight. - But, Grant, if there's
151
00:05:02,047 --> 00:05:03,984
- one thing I'm not doing today,
it is-- - Tonight.
152
00:05:03,984 --> 00:05:05,520
We have a reservation
for Linda Harrison.
153
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,090
I can make women love me.
Women love me.
154
00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:09,094
- Cash only.
Look at this. Cash only. - [Linda] Yoo-hoo!
155
00:05:09,094 --> 00:05:11,399
- Oh, I don't have any cash.
- Wow. - Well, look what the cat
156
00:05:11,399 --> 00:05:12,735
dragged in.
157
00:05:12,735 --> 00:05:15,073
- You must be Mr. Evan Marquez.
- Linda.
158
00:05:15,073 --> 00:05:17,545
- Harrison. Nice to meet you.
- Linda Harrison. That's right.
159
00:05:17,545 --> 00:05:18,814
And you are
160
00:05:18,814 --> 00:05:20,417
- Ms.--
- Gwen. I'm his best friend.
161
00:05:20,417 --> 00:05:21,987
- I'm Ms. Sanders. I--
- You're Ms. Sanders.
162
00:05:21,987 --> 00:05:23,590
- Blake speaks so highly of you.
- Yes. [stammers] Oh!
163
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:24,993
But he didn't tell me
about that head of hair.
164
00:05:24,993 --> 00:05:27,464
Thank you. [laughs]
And I like your head...
165
00:05:27,464 --> 00:05:28,867
- as well.
- Thank you so much.
166
00:05:28,867 --> 00:05:30,036
And I like that little hair
you have there.
167
00:05:30,036 --> 00:05:31,606
- Yeah.
- All right, y'all,
168
00:05:31,606 --> 00:05:33,744
get on in there.
We got you at a VIP table.
169
00:05:33,744 --> 00:05:35,814
Deanna, stand up straight.
You look like a shepherd's hook.
170
00:05:36,783 --> 00:05:38,687
Winston!
171
00:05:38,687 --> 00:05:39,990
Now, I don't care
where those nuggets are headed.
172
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:41,593
You bring 'em on back over here.
173
00:05:41,593 --> 00:05:43,496
That's what we call a reroute.
[laughing]
174
00:05:43,496 --> 00:05:46,469
- [forced chuckle]
- Chicken nuggets as an appetizer-- that's genius.
175
00:05:46,469 --> 00:05:48,139
They're actually steak nuggets.
176
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,743
I invented 'em.
177
00:05:49,743 --> 00:05:51,580
And we're into
the patent process right now
178
00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:53,149
with the lawyers. You know,
Dale's getting into it with 'em.
179
00:05:53,149 --> 00:05:54,485
You know how that is.
180
00:05:54,485 --> 00:05:55,855
- Yeah. Yeah.
- We don't.
181
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,792
- We've seen Shark Tank.
- Yeah.
182
00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,061
Oh, shit, these are good.
183
00:05:59,061 --> 00:06:00,163
You wanted to talk, Linda?
184
00:06:00,163 --> 00:06:01,667
Yes. And let's chat about that.
185
00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:03,469
As soon as we get some Sprites.
Winston?
186
00:06:03,469 --> 00:06:04,773
Honey, I'm-a reel you back on in
187
00:06:04,773 --> 00:06:06,910
over here.
Come on, my little trout.
188
00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:08,479
- Can we get three Sprites?
- Absolutely.
189
00:06:08,479 --> 00:06:10,150
- Now?
- Yeah.
190
00:06:10,150 --> 00:06:12,487
- Is he the only waiter here?
- No, but he's my favorite.
191
00:06:12,487 --> 00:06:14,893
We put double syrup
in the Sprites.
192
00:06:14,893 --> 00:06:16,162
And that's why I didn't ask
y'all what you wanted to drink.
193
00:06:16,162 --> 00:06:17,865
Because nobody gets out of here
194
00:06:17,865 --> 00:06:19,803
without trying my double Sprite.
195
00:06:19,803 --> 00:06:20,905
Another invention?
196
00:06:20,905 --> 00:06:23,509
It is.
[laughs] It is.
197
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:25,480
- This is crazy. I love Sprite.
- [laughs] You know,
198
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,752
Dale calls me
"Willy Wonka with a boob job."
199
00:06:27,752 --> 00:06:29,188
I said, "Dale,
don't you go around here
200
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:30,958
telling everybody
I have a boob job." [laughing]
201
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,829
I've considered--
202
00:06:32,829 --> 00:06:34,566
Don't. Gwendolyn, do not.
203
00:06:34,566 --> 00:06:37,003
I am afraid every time I fly.
204
00:06:38,707 --> 00:06:40,711
- So you wanted to talk
about the-- - Oh, Lord.
205
00:06:40,711 --> 00:06:42,949
You're all such good company,
I just about forgot. Okay,
206
00:06:42,949 --> 00:06:44,518
so, Mr. Marquez,
207
00:06:44,518 --> 00:06:45,654
the grades.
208
00:06:45,654 --> 00:06:47,224
Like, what are we thinking here?
209
00:06:47,224 --> 00:06:49,929
Uh, we are thinking
that the grades
210
00:06:49,929 --> 00:06:52,769
should accurately reflect
the work.
211
00:06:52,769 --> 00:06:54,806
Mm-hmm. Lord, I hear that.
212
00:06:54,806 --> 00:06:56,643
I'm just thinking...
[laughs]
213
00:06:56,643 --> 00:06:58,947
...can't we change 'em?
[chuckles]
214
00:06:58,947 --> 00:07:00,551
Just, like, a little bit?
215
00:07:00,551 --> 00:07:01,820
Like, just one time.
Just a little boost.
216
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:02,921
What do you think, Gwen?
217
00:07:04,559 --> 00:07:05,961
Well,
218
00:07:05,961 --> 00:07:07,965
you can, 'cause you are
the teacher. Like...
219
00:07:07,965 --> 00:07:09,569
Or no.
220
00:07:09,569 --> 00:07:11,072
He could, but he won't.
221
00:07:11,072 --> 00:07:12,842
- This feels like mixed signals.
- [Evan] Linda,
222
00:07:12,842 --> 00:07:14,913
are the grades
really what this is about?
223
00:07:14,913 --> 00:07:16,550
Yes. Why?
224
00:07:16,550 --> 00:07:18,086
There's not another...
225
00:07:18,086 --> 00:07:19,088
thing?
226
00:07:19,088 --> 00:07:20,558
Like what?
227
00:07:20,558 --> 00:07:22,595
Like what happened in the fall.
228
00:07:22,595 --> 00:07:24,231
You were having me investigated
for kissing my boyfriend
229
00:07:24,231 --> 00:07:25,568
- in front of a group of stud--
- Oh, honey.
230
00:07:25,568 --> 00:07:27,104
Water, bridge, you, me.
231
00:07:27,104 --> 00:07:28,741
Okay?
232
00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:30,276
I do not care that you're...
[whispers] gay.
233
00:07:30,276 --> 00:07:32,715
I don't care one bit
that you're... [whispers] gay.
234
00:07:32,715 --> 00:07:34,886
As long as you don't care that
I sneak a little drop of gin
235
00:07:34,886 --> 00:07:36,990
into my double Sprite at lunch.
236
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,596
[laughs]
We both got our little things.
237
00:07:39,596 --> 00:07:41,265
- Yeah.
- [Evan] Regardless, I-I will have
238
00:07:41,265 --> 00:07:43,604
to stand firm
in the grades as they are.
239
00:07:43,604 --> 00:07:46,108
I'm an educator,
and it's my duty to give
240
00:07:46,108 --> 00:07:48,212
accurate grades.
241
00:07:49,615 --> 00:07:50,985
[chuckles softly]
242
00:07:50,985 --> 00:07:52,622
Well, shoot. [laughs]
243
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:55,995
I admit, I wanted us
to see eye to eye on this.
244
00:07:55,995 --> 00:07:57,164
I can tell we don't,
245
00:07:57,164 --> 00:07:58,901
and we can just move on, honey.
246
00:07:58,901 --> 00:08:00,738
- Really?
- As a business owner,
247
00:08:00,738 --> 00:08:02,775
I got to do what I got to do
to stay within my integrity,
248
00:08:02,775 --> 00:08:04,879
and you got to do the same
as a teacher.
249
00:08:04,879 --> 00:08:06,015
And I respect it.
250
00:08:06,015 --> 00:08:07,852
Wow.
251
00:08:07,852 --> 00:08:09,989
- [chuckles] Okay.
- It shows strength. It shows courage.
252
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:12,762
- [Gwen] I agree. Yeah. Yeah.
- Thank you. - This has been nice.
253
00:08:12,762 --> 00:08:14,599
I'm actually-- Sorry, I thought
this was gonna be much more
254
00:08:14,599 --> 00:08:15,901
- of a problem.
- [chuckles] It was a little scary.
255
00:08:15,901 --> 00:08:16,937
Now, listen,
everything's on la casa.
256
00:08:16,937 --> 00:08:18,039
I have to excuse myself.
257
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,174
Oh, you're leaving us?
258
00:08:19,174 --> 00:08:20,911
Chef Gary is really on one.
259
00:08:20,911 --> 00:08:22,715
For the specials tonight,
let me tell you what,
260
00:08:22,715 --> 00:08:25,286
he wants to put a duck burger
on a butter pretzel bun,
261
00:08:25,286 --> 00:08:26,723
and I think he's crazy.
262
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:27,925
Although, so crazy,
263
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,328
it just might work.
[laughs]
264
00:08:29,328 --> 00:08:31,900
- All right, bye.
- Bye.
265
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:33,169
I hate to see her go, but I love
266
00:08:33,169 --> 00:08:34,705
- to watch her walk away.
- Gwendolyn.
267
00:08:40,216 --> 00:08:42,053
- [school bell rings]
- Sorry I'm late, guys.
268
00:08:42,053 --> 00:08:44,926
I just had this whole thing
happen with my car insurance,
269
00:08:44,926 --> 00:08:46,395
and they were not taking
my payment
270
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,965
because it was a credit card.
And then I--
271
00:08:47,965 --> 00:08:49,368
Yoo-hoo. Visitor alert.
272
00:08:49,368 --> 00:08:51,940
[chuckles]
Hey, Mr. Marquez.
273
00:08:51,940 --> 00:08:54,211
He's uninsured.
Let's write that down.
274
00:08:54,211 --> 00:08:55,246
- [typing]
- What-what are you doing here, Linda?
275
00:08:55,246 --> 00:08:56,817
I thought we moved on from this.
276
00:08:56,817 --> 00:08:58,654
Oh, we have.
We've moved on to the next level
277
00:08:58,654 --> 00:08:59,923
of sorting this problem out.
278
00:08:59,923 --> 00:09:01,192
The next level?
279
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:02,995
Okay, well, I don't know
if you know this,
280
00:09:02,995 --> 00:09:04,732
but you're not allowed
to just be in my classroom.
281
00:09:04,732 --> 00:09:06,937
You have to have my permission
to observe my class.
282
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:09,241
I actually do know that, which
is why I went over your head
283
00:09:09,241 --> 00:09:11,378
and already got authorization
from the school board.
284
00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:13,382
[whispers]
Mom, stop. This is embarrassing.
285
00:09:13,382 --> 00:09:14,986
Blake, tuck in
your Billabong shirt.
286
00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:16,355
- [snickering]
- All the way around, sir.
287
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:17,825
Everyone,
288
00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:18,894
eyes on me.
289
00:09:18,894 --> 00:09:20,698
This is Dr. Doug.
290
00:09:20,698 --> 00:09:22,367
He is a teaching expert.
291
00:09:22,367 --> 00:09:25,173
Okay? And he and I are gonna be
just observing class today.
292
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:26,977
So drink a glass of Act Right.
You know what I mean?
293
00:09:26,977 --> 00:09:28,212
[chuckles]
I'm just kidding.
294
00:09:28,212 --> 00:09:30,216
Be yourselves.
295
00:09:33,122 --> 00:09:34,692
I'll be right back.
296
00:09:34,692 --> 00:09:37,196
Dramatically exits?
Let's write that down.
297
00:09:38,165 --> 00:09:39,836
Yeah, if there's power up here,
I could definitely jerry-rig
298
00:09:39,836 --> 00:09:41,438
- a little camera for you.
- [Gwen] Good.
299
00:09:41,438 --> 00:09:43,042
'Cause I want to prove to you
that they're not cheating.
300
00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:44,311
So put the cameras
wherever you want.
301
00:09:44,311 --> 00:09:46,181
- Can you put 'em back there?
- Yeah.
302
00:09:46,181 --> 00:09:48,119
It's a drop ceiling. There's a--
It's a whole world up there.
303
00:09:48,119 --> 00:09:49,923
- Huh.
- I don't know.
304
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,392
I get a couple cameras,
we'll get the footage
305
00:09:51,392 --> 00:09:53,029
and watch it together
over drinks?
306
00:09:53,029 --> 00:09:54,031
We could...
307
00:09:54,031 --> 00:09:55,834
What?
308
00:09:57,103 --> 00:09:58,472
[quietly]
Linda is in my class.
309
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,276
- [squeals]
- No, no, no, no. It's not good.
310
00:10:00,276 --> 00:10:01,846
That whole thing
where she was being nice
311
00:10:01,846 --> 00:10:04,384
and friendly last night,
that was a front.
312
00:10:04,384 --> 00:10:05,721
- Oh, my God.
- And now she brought,
313
00:10:05,721 --> 00:10:07,390
like, a teaching expert to class
314
00:10:07,390 --> 00:10:10,029
to observe me and try
to take me down or something.
315
00:10:10,029 --> 00:10:11,465
- She's a bitch. Always been.
- What? - Yeah.
316
00:10:11,465 --> 00:10:13,135
Can you come and sit in?
I need, like, manpower.
317
00:10:13,135 --> 00:10:14,204
It's your free period, right?
318
00:10:14,204 --> 00:10:16,208
- Yes. What?
- Can I come?
319
00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:18,747
- I only needed Gwen,
but, sure, more is better. - Yes, buddy.
320
00:10:18,747 --> 00:10:19,916
- [grunts]
- Oh, God.
321
00:10:19,916 --> 00:10:21,285
[Rick]
You should check out
322
00:10:21,285 --> 00:10:23,089
Michigan State.
They got bomb pad thai.
323
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,424
You probably can't get in there
324
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,796
'cause your grades are bunk.
[chuckles]
325
00:10:26,796 --> 00:10:28,499
- But, yo--
- Rick, come sit in Evan's class with us!
326
00:10:28,499 --> 00:10:30,169
Oh, I'm there! Hell yeah.
327
00:10:30,169 --> 00:10:32,173
You like skinny noodle
or thick noodle?
328
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,146
Huh? Michigan State's got both!
329
00:10:35,146 --> 00:10:36,282
- Get it 360.
- [shutter clicking]
330
00:10:36,282 --> 00:10:38,252
Everything. Like IMAX, almost.
331
00:10:39,254 --> 00:10:40,490
[Evan]
What is he doing?
332
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:42,227
Can you please put
that iPad down?
333
00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:44,197
You're not allowed
to take pictures in here, okay?
334
00:10:44,197 --> 00:10:45,901
- He is documenting.
We are just observing. - [door closes]
335
00:10:45,901 --> 00:10:47,772
It's gonna be like
we're not even here, honey.
336
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,107
Well, I went ahead and gathered
some other board-certified
337
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,312
teachers to observe
this observation.
338
00:10:51,312 --> 00:10:54,051
Oh. [laughs] It's really good
you have the gym teacher here.
339
00:10:54,051 --> 00:10:55,520
- Hey, Markie.
- Linda.
340
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,957
- Looking all like a Shrek today.
- [shutter clicking]
341
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,392
It's just "Shrek."
There's only one.
342
00:10:58,392 --> 00:10:59,796
- Ah, stunning.
- Hey, Gwen.
343
00:10:59,796 --> 00:11:01,332
- Shut up.
- Okay.
344
00:11:01,332 --> 00:11:03,069
So, now that we have six
adults in here, let's continue
345
00:11:03,069 --> 00:11:04,471
our somewhat tumultuous journey
346
00:11:04,471 --> 00:11:07,344
through
The Red Badge of Courage.
347
00:11:07,344 --> 00:11:08,914
Didn't we already write
those essays?
348
00:11:08,914 --> 00:11:10,918
Yes, but, Kayla,
since that didn't quite work,
349
00:11:10,918 --> 00:11:12,487
we're gonna stay with that book
until the information
350
00:11:12,487 --> 00:11:14,324
has been
effectively communicated.
351
00:11:14,324 --> 00:11:16,796
Aren't we getting behind
on the state curriculum here?
352
00:11:16,796 --> 00:11:18,800
Shouldn't we be moving on
to To Kill a Mockingbird?
353
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,838
- Doug, shut up.
- Lot of questions for a doctor.
354
00:11:20,838 --> 00:11:22,073
Markie, do you even have
a master's?
355
00:11:22,073 --> 00:11:23,542
What'd you major in, ranch?
356
00:11:23,542 --> 00:11:25,246
I'm sorry, I thought
you were just observing.
357
00:11:25,246 --> 00:11:27,384
Easily distracted.
Write that down.
358
00:11:27,384 --> 00:11:28,519
- Don't. What are you writing?
- Are you writing this in Wingdings?
359
00:11:28,519 --> 00:11:29,521
- What is that?
- Stop it.
360
00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:30,824
Okay, how about this?
361
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,828
I'm ordering you to leave, okay?
362
00:11:32,828 --> 00:11:35,400
- [students oohing]
- Observation over.
363
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,172
Actually, my Parent's Rights
state that I can be here,
364
00:11:38,172 --> 00:11:40,376
- so I will be remaining.
- That doesn't exist.
365
00:11:40,376 --> 00:11:41,880
You're out of order.
366
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,251
This whole, this whole classroom
is out of order.
367
00:11:44,251 --> 00:11:46,288
Linda, this isn't a courtroom.
368
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,357
I object.
369
00:11:47,357 --> 00:11:48,827
I don't know what is going on.
370
00:11:48,827 --> 00:11:50,496
And why will he not
stop typing?!
371
00:11:50,496 --> 00:11:52,033
- I'll take care of this.
- Just put "OOO," and that stands
372
00:11:52,033 --> 00:11:53,904
- for "out of order."
- Who wants an iPad?
373
00:11:53,904 --> 00:11:56,876
- Just keep teaching, Evan.
- So, The Red Badge of Courage...
374
00:11:56,876 --> 00:11:58,145
And she's what?
She's allowed to bring
375
00:11:58,145 --> 00:12:00,183
this teaching expert
into my classroom
376
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:01,920
- without asking?
- Well, technically, no.
377
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,890
But in a world where
I want to keep my job, yes.
378
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,259
I mean, she's probably
just gathering evidence.
379
00:12:05,259 --> 00:12:07,330
Gathering evidence
for what, Grant?
380
00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:08,600
For the parents-faculty
town hall meeting
381
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,069
that she called for tonight.
382
00:12:10,069 --> 00:12:12,073
- She called a town hall meeting?
- Yes.
383
00:12:12,073 --> 00:12:13,610
- She's allowed to do that?
- Well, technically, no,
384
00:12:13,610 --> 00:12:15,380
but in a world where
I want to keep my--
385
00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:17,117
You knew about this?
Wh-Wh-Why wouldn't you tell me?
386
00:12:17,117 --> 00:12:19,021
Because I was hoping she
wouldn't gather any evidence.
387
00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:21,525
Evan, look, if we don't
make it through this,
388
00:12:21,525 --> 00:12:23,864
I just want to say that it's
been an honor and a privilege
389
00:12:23,864 --> 00:12:25,099
- serving with you.
- Oh, shut up.
390
00:12:29,575 --> 00:12:31,278
My associates are handing out
the findings fro
391
00:12:31,278 --> 00:12:32,882
- in the classroom.
- Could you, uh, pass that down?
392
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,351
That's gonna be Dr. Doug,
y'all know Winston.
393
00:12:34,351 --> 00:12:36,221
Tell him not to hide
his light under a bushel.
394
00:12:36,221 --> 00:12:38,025
You let it shine, Winston.
395
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,862
- You're just gonna let
this happen to me? - Shh.
396
00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:40,964
Anyway, I think perhaps
what is most stark
397
00:12:40,964 --> 00:12:42,935
about our findings today
398
00:12:42,935 --> 00:12:45,239
is that Mr. Marquez is unable
to even teach his class
399
00:12:45,239 --> 00:12:47,945
without the assistance of
several other teachers present.
400
00:12:47,945 --> 00:12:50,383
I mean, does the state
have funding
401
00:12:50,383 --> 00:12:53,089
for such an extensive
support system?
402
00:12:53,089 --> 00:12:55,393
Linda, you brought a teaching
expert to my classroom.
403
00:12:55,393 --> 00:12:57,230
- [Grant] Mr. Marquez.
- You came to my class unannounced.
404
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:59,434
- Okay? I needed backup.
- Mr. Marquez. Mr., Mr. Marquez.
405
00:12:59,434 --> 00:13:01,405
Mrs. Harrison has the floor.
406
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:02,875
Thank you, Grant.
407
00:13:02,875 --> 00:13:04,344
Everybody just open
to page four.
408
00:13:04,344 --> 00:13:05,346
Let's all do it together.
409
00:13:05,346 --> 00:13:07,417
She used to be so sweet.
410
00:13:07,417 --> 00:13:09,254
Like, I don't even know
who this woman is.
411
00:13:09,254 --> 00:13:11,024
This book was,
like, really well-made.
412
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,393
Where did they get this picture
of you, by the way?
413
00:13:12,393 --> 00:13:13,663
- Look at that.
- Oh, my God.
414
00:13:13,663 --> 00:13:14,966
You're built
like a baby seal, man.
415
00:13:14,966 --> 00:13:16,135
I told you to post that.
416
00:13:16,135 --> 00:13:17,537
Hold on,
I have to listen to this.
417
00:13:17,537 --> 00:13:19,174
'Cause whether this requires
an adjustment
418
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:21,946
or-- honey, God forbid--
a removal,
419
00:13:21,946 --> 00:13:24,084
that's just something
we need to talk about.
420
00:13:24,084 --> 00:13:25,219
She said removal?
421
00:13:25,219 --> 00:13:26,556
[exasperated sigh]
422
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,125
I think everybody's with me here
423
00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:31,265
when I say we want
our children...
424
00:13:31,265 --> 00:13:33,002
to thrive and to learn.
425
00:13:33,002 --> 00:13:34,271
[murmured agreements]
426
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:36,074
Let me hear one more time
in the back.
427
00:13:36,074 --> 00:13:37,210
[all]
Amen.
428
00:13:37,210 --> 00:13:38,512
[Linda]
What we don't want
429
00:13:38,512 --> 00:13:40,116
is our children
subjected to things
430
00:13:40,116 --> 00:13:42,387
that we have not agreed to.
431
00:13:42,387 --> 00:13:44,191
- Am I right?
- [murmured agreements]
432
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:47,631
Like receiving failing grades
on passing work.
433
00:13:47,631 --> 00:13:50,036
- Can I get an amen?
- I'm so sorry, I don't want to be dramatic...
434
00:13:50,036 --> 00:13:52,340
- [shutter clicks]
- ...but this woman has a personal vendetta against me.
435
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:54,110
I'm not the only one
who's been affected
436
00:13:54,110 --> 00:13:55,581
by Mr. Marquez's actions.
437
00:13:55,581 --> 00:13:57,250
I'd like to bring to speak
a beautiful,
438
00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,622
incredible and talented
Latina single mother.
439
00:13:59,622 --> 00:14:01,024
- Luisa.
- [applause]
440
00:14:01,024 --> 00:14:02,159
Come on, Luisa.
441
00:14:03,362 --> 00:14:05,066
Actually, I'm not single.
442
00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:06,335
- I am married for nine years.
- [feedback squeals]
443
00:14:06,335 --> 00:14:07,503
Congratulations.
444
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,376
My son was on the football team.
445
00:14:10,376 --> 00:14:12,480
And then he got an F,
and now they say
446
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,518
- that he can't play anymore.
- [exclaims]
447
00:14:14,518 --> 00:14:15,654
[Linda]
That's his future!
448
00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:18,359
We are angry, Mr. Marquez.
449
00:14:18,359 --> 00:14:20,663
[speaking Spanish]
450
00:14:21,632 --> 00:14:23,068
[speaking Spanish]
451
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:28,478
Hey, Siri,
open Google Translate.
452
00:14:31,986 --> 00:14:33,957
[speaking Spanish]
453
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:36,663
I'mma call a cállate!
454
00:14:36,663 --> 00:14:39,100
We all know Dr. Doug can't
even write that down.
455
00:14:40,336 --> 00:14:41,305
Now, that was beautiful.
456
00:14:41,305 --> 00:14:43,342
And cultural.
457
00:14:43,342 --> 00:14:45,179
Okay? And I thank you, Luisa.
458
00:14:45,179 --> 00:14:46,749
She's using my own people
against me.
459
00:14:46,749 --> 00:14:48,519
And that goes to show that I'm
not the only one affected
460
00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:50,591
- by Mr. Marquez's actions, and--
- Excuse me.
461
00:14:50,591 --> 00:14:53,195
- Sorry. Please.
Linda. If you don't mind. - S-- Sure.
462
00:14:53,195 --> 00:14:55,166
- Oh, my God.
- [Sharon] I'm sorry, but there is
463
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:56,335
a more pressing matter.
464
00:14:56,335 --> 00:14:57,503
Oh, here we go.
465
00:14:57,503 --> 00:14:59,040
We all need to be aware
466
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,211
that our kids are playing
a new sex game.
467
00:15:01,211 --> 00:15:02,581
[parents gasp]
468
00:15:02,581 --> 00:15:04,184
[Sharon]
When I say the phrase
469
00:15:04,184 --> 00:15:06,656
"reverse glory hole,"
what do you picture?
470
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:09,662
Okay. All right. And-and
that does sound terrifying.
471
00:15:09,662 --> 00:15:11,599
Earmark the, uh,
the reverse glory hole.
472
00:15:11,599 --> 00:15:13,502
- Let's write that down.
- I appreciate you. We're gonna deal
473
00:15:13,502 --> 00:15:15,206
with that later.
We're gonna keep an eye on it.
474
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:17,043
I would really love
the opportunity to speak now
475
00:15:17,043 --> 00:15:19,014
- since this is all about me.
- Yeah. Yeah. I got one more
476
00:15:19,014 --> 00:15:20,550
reminder before I sit down. I'm
gonna quit taking y'all's time.
477
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,794
Y'all get some food real quick.
478
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:28,032
We got Winston
on the carving station!
479
00:15:28,032 --> 00:15:29,802
- We got two chocolate fountains.
- [whooping and applause]
480
00:15:29,802 --> 00:15:33,643
And we have a boatload
of my favorite and yours...
481
00:15:33,643 --> 00:15:35,279
[whispering]
steak nuggets.
482
00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:37,483
- [cheering]
- [laughs] Dig in, y'all.
483
00:15:37,483 --> 00:15:39,187
I was hoping that was for us.
484
00:15:39,187 --> 00:15:41,191
Maybe just drill a peephole
right here at your desk.
485
00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:43,529
And they take the exam,
you drop your keys,
486
00:15:43,529 --> 00:15:45,132
catch 'em in the act.
487
00:15:45,132 --> 00:15:46,736
How you doing over there?
488
00:15:46,736 --> 00:15:49,207
I'm not good, you know?
This woman,
489
00:15:49,207 --> 00:15:52,080
it's like I close my eyes
and she's all I can see.
490
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,384
And she's staring at me
491
00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:55,721
with her blonde updo.
492
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:59,562
I feel like the town hall
went fine.
493
00:15:59,562 --> 00:16:01,164
It wasn't fine, Gwen.
494
00:16:01,164 --> 00:16:03,369
You know it didn't go fine.
495
00:16:03,369 --> 00:16:05,641
They're acting like they were
gonna carry me out of town
496
00:16:05,641 --> 00:16:08,613
on a pitchfork
like a big steak nugget.
497
00:16:08,613 --> 00:16:11,218
But they got distracted
by the food in the end.
498
00:16:11,218 --> 00:16:13,355
I don't think they'll
remember what happened.
499
00:16:13,355 --> 00:16:14,759
It's just,
everyone's on her side.
500
00:16:14,759 --> 00:16:17,430
I'm not gonna win this.
I can't win this.
501
00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:21,171
Are you giving up?
Evan Marquez giving up.
502
00:16:21,171 --> 00:16:24,110
We have her right where
we want her, man. [claps]
503
00:16:25,112 --> 00:16:27,116
- How?
- Do you ever wonder why
504
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,287
her restaurants
are all cash only?
505
00:16:29,287 --> 00:16:30,824
All right, let's go
right in the cleavage.
506
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,360
There we go.
507
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,164
This is just so crazy
to wear a wire.
508
00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:36,602
It's the only way out of this,
buddy, seriously.
509
00:16:36,602 --> 00:16:39,240
[Evan] Okay, explain
the tax fraud thing to me again
510
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,113
'cause I only get about 40%
of any conversation about money.
511
00:16:42,113 --> 00:16:43,617
All right.
512
00:16:43,617 --> 00:16:45,453
It's simple but complicated
at the same time, right?
513
00:16:45,453 --> 00:16:47,591
Biggest restaurant in Austin.
514
00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:50,564
Arguably the fanciest.
Cash only.
515
00:16:50,564 --> 00:16:52,668
Why do you think that is?
It's obvious.
516
00:16:52,668 --> 00:16:54,605
They're skimming
right off the top.
517
00:16:54,605 --> 00:16:56,341
Cooking the books. Okay?
518
00:16:56,341 --> 00:16:58,680
And their cover is
that they donate to the school.
519
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:02,220
It throws the IRS off the scent.
It's fraud. It's bad.
520
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:04,759
- It just sounds
like such a conspiracy theory. - I know, right?
521
00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:07,831
But all conspiracy theories
are 90% true.
522
00:17:20,690 --> 00:17:22,695
- You got this, Evan.
- [doorbell rings]
523
00:17:22,695 --> 00:17:24,899
- [barking]
- [Linda] Come on in, Mr. Marquez.
524
00:17:24,899 --> 00:17:26,267
Hey.
525
00:17:27,303 --> 00:17:28,272
Oh, my Lord.
526
00:17:28,272 --> 00:17:29,642
Y'all hush.
527
00:17:29,642 --> 00:17:31,579
Hush, I said!
528
00:17:31,579 --> 00:17:32,815
[Evan]
Thanks so much for agreeing to meet.
529
00:17:32,815 --> 00:17:34,451
Hey, Brad, Steven.
530
00:17:34,451 --> 00:17:36,455
You about to lose
your privileges.
531
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:38,593
So many nice...
[clears throat] dogs.
532
00:17:38,593 --> 00:17:40,262
Lord have mercy,
you about to drive me to drink.
533
00:17:40,262 --> 00:17:41,699
It's a very, very
beautiful house. [chuckles]
534
00:17:41,699 --> 00:17:43,837
The recession was
very good to us.
535
00:17:43,837 --> 00:17:45,607
- Wasn't it, Kevin?
- Sorry, is there a way to--
536
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:47,477
- [whimpers]
- [Evan] I just wanted to be able
537
00:17:47,477 --> 00:17:49,682
- to hear what you were saying.
- I can hear you just fine.
538
00:17:49,682 --> 00:17:51,518
- You said you wanted
a few minutes of my time... - [dog howls]
539
00:17:51,518 --> 00:17:53,188
[clears throat]
Floor's yours.
540
00:17:53,188 --> 00:17:55,861
Yes. Uh, I was gonna say,
your restaurant,
541
00:17:55,861 --> 00:17:57,463
- the c-- the cash only--
- You know what?
542
00:17:57,463 --> 00:17:59,200
It's a wild pheasant
down by the fence line.
543
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,804
That's what's making
these dogs nuts.
544
00:18:00,804 --> 00:18:02,608
- [dog whimpers]
- Come with me.
545
00:18:02,608 --> 00:18:04,177
- I got to do something.
- [racks shotgun]
546
00:18:04,177 --> 00:18:05,881
Oh, my God.
547
00:18:05,881 --> 00:18:08,352
So that is just
sitting there. Okay.
548
00:18:08,352 --> 00:18:11,157
- Ah!
- Damn. That fucker can move.
549
00:18:11,926 --> 00:18:14,230
You ever dealt with pheasant?
550
00:18:14,230 --> 00:18:15,634
So hard to kill,
551
00:18:15,634 --> 00:18:17,604
- and they don't even taste good.
- Yeah.
552
00:18:17,604 --> 00:18:21,477
Pheasant is definitely one
of my least favorite meats.
553
00:18:22,279 --> 00:18:25,286
You know, speaking of meat,
your restaurant was amazing.
554
00:18:25,286 --> 00:18:27,190
I thought it was so good
555
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,860
and I, I thought it was cute
how you guys did
556
00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:30,362
that cash-only thing.
557
00:18:30,362 --> 00:18:32,768
I was like, "Okay.
558
00:18:32,768 --> 00:18:35,339
Why would someone do a cash-only
thing?" 'Cause I was--
559
00:18:35,339 --> 00:18:36,508
Right, Mr. Marquez,
560
00:18:36,508 --> 00:18:37,911
let's just cut to the chase.
561
00:18:37,911 --> 00:18:39,481
I know you're here
to grovel for your job,
562
00:18:39,481 --> 00:18:40,650
but if you can just
change those grades,
563
00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:42,219
you won't have to.
564
00:18:46,294 --> 00:18:48,398
Yeah. I-I hear that.
565
00:18:48,398 --> 00:18:50,336
College is real important
to our family,
566
00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:53,242
and Blake's GPA is right
on the cusp of dropping him
567
00:18:53,242 --> 00:18:55,479
to a lower level
of potential universities.
568
00:18:55,479 --> 00:18:57,316
[sighs]
569
00:18:57,316 --> 00:19:00,657
We need him in a good college,
like his older brother.
570
00:19:00,657 --> 00:19:02,661
His older brother.
Your gay son.
571
00:19:02,661 --> 00:19:05,667
[coughs]
My son.
572
00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:07,537
Part of me wants to ask
if you still think
573
00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:10,911
that just by being
his out-gay teacher,
574
00:19:10,911 --> 00:19:13,650
I turned him gay,
but I would hope you're
575
00:19:13,650 --> 00:19:16,521
evolved enough by now
to realize that's not possible.
576
00:19:16,521 --> 00:19:17,891
Well...
577
00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:20,262
I certainly think
he was encouraged.
578
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,270
- [gunshot]
- Ah!
579
00:19:26,341 --> 00:19:27,678
[sighs]
Anyway,
580
00:19:27,678 --> 00:19:29,782
he is thriving at school.
581
00:19:29,782 --> 00:19:31,686
Do you talk to him at all?
582
00:19:31,686 --> 00:19:33,690
Of course I talk to him.
He's my son.
583
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:35,760
And I love him, and...
[sighs]
584
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,532
...despite what you think
I think about his preferences,
585
00:19:38,532 --> 00:19:39,902
I love him no matter what.
586
00:19:39,902 --> 00:19:41,037
And as long as he keeps it
out of Austin,
587
00:19:41,037 --> 00:19:42,539
it's fine by me.
588
00:19:44,443 --> 00:19:46,381
Why would he need
to keep it out of Austin?
589
00:19:46,381 --> 00:19:48,920
Austin's a perfectly
gay-friendly place.
590
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,690
Not the circles I run in.
591
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,828
They don't understand, so...
592
00:19:52,828 --> 00:19:54,330
I'm not gonna have
my life turned upside down
593
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:55,800
'cause of something like that.
594
00:19:57,469 --> 00:19:59,540
You have a secret.
595
00:20:01,044 --> 00:20:02,848
A woman like me has
many secrets.
596
00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:04,050
No, I mean,
597
00:20:04,050 --> 00:20:05,720
you have a secret,
598
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,858
like the fact that your son
is gay is a secret.
599
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:09,795
For you.
600
00:20:09,795 --> 00:20:13,670
Like, you're scared if you told
the people in your life this,
601
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:16,440
that they would kick you out
of your whole social structure.
602
00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:19,882
Well, exactly.
So you do understand.
603
00:20:19,882 --> 00:20:22,954
Yeah, I do. I just...
604
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:28,531
I wonder if you realize that's
exactly how your son feels.
605
00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:31,104
He feels like he has
this thing about him
606
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:32,641
that if he told
the wrong people,
607
00:20:32,641 --> 00:20:35,747
would get him kicked out
of his life, right?
608
00:20:35,747 --> 00:20:36,983
And that's how you're feeling,
609
00:20:36,983 --> 00:20:39,053
and that's how
I felt growing up.
610
00:20:42,861 --> 00:20:44,865
So we're all feeling
the same thing.
611
00:20:45,867 --> 00:20:47,336
See what I'm saying?
612
00:20:50,142 --> 00:20:53,014
Wow, you really healed me.
Thanks.
613
00:20:54,016 --> 00:20:55,587
- Oh.
- [sighs]
614
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:56,722
- [water splashes]
- [laughs]
615
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,058
I got him.
616
00:20:58,058 --> 00:21:00,596
Oh, right between
his beady little eyes.
617
00:21:01,699 --> 00:21:04,872
Um, why don't you just...
618
00:21:04,872 --> 00:21:06,474
let 'em redo the essay?
619
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,011
You don't have
to change the grades,
620
00:21:08,011 --> 00:21:11,384
and then whichever one is
better, you count that one.
621
00:21:11,384 --> 00:21:13,355
Yeah, that's reasonable.
622
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:14,891
Great.
623
00:21:17,564 --> 00:21:19,868
You know, it was a good thing
that you were recording
624
00:21:19,868 --> 00:21:22,073
that whole conversation
and now you can just go back
625
00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:25,547
and listen to that little speech
you gave whenever you want.
626
00:21:25,547 --> 00:21:28,886
["She Drives Me Crazy" by
Fine Young Cannibals playing]
627
00:21:28,886 --> 00:21:30,557
And, guys,
before I wrap up class,
628
00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:32,526
I wanted to say I'm gonna
give you all a redo
629
00:21:32,526 --> 00:21:33,830
on your Red Badge
of Courage essays
630
00:21:33,830 --> 00:21:35,800
to try to get a better grade.
631
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,403
I believe in second chances.
632
00:21:37,403 --> 00:21:38,673
So, congratulations.
633
00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,810
- [Gwen shouts]
- Oh, my God.
634
00:21:40,810 --> 00:21:42,012
[Gwen coughing]
635
00:21:44,918 --> 00:21:46,421
[groans]
Sorry.
636
00:21:46,421 --> 00:21:49,828
[chuckles] God, I got turned
around up there.
637
00:21:49,828 --> 00:21:52,433
Were you trying to catch
your students cheating?
638
00:21:52,433 --> 00:21:53,569
Yeah. Yeah.
639
00:21:53,569 --> 00:21:55,105
I didn't catch anyone cheating.
640
00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:56,909
Basically, all the kids are
just watching Snapchat.
641
00:21:56,909 --> 00:21:59,113
That's what I figured out.
642
00:21:59,113 --> 00:22:00,951
[clicks lips]
I got to get out of here.
643
00:22:00,951 --> 00:22:02,687
Class dismissed.
644
00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:05,794
[grunting]
Come on, now.
645
00:22:05,794 --> 00:22:06,996
I got you.
646
00:22:06,996 --> 00:22:08,198
Okay.
647
00:22:08,198 --> 00:22:10,002
♪ She drives me crazy ♪
648
00:22:10,002 --> 00:22:12,006
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
649
00:22:12,006 --> 00:22:14,611
♪ Like no one else ♪
650
00:22:14,611 --> 00:22:16,114
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
651
00:22:16,114 --> 00:22:18,720
♪ She drives me crazy ♪
652
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,392
♪ And I can't help myself ♪
653
00:22:23,461 --> 00:22:25,498
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
654
00:22:42,867 --> 00:22:45,472
♪ She drives me crazy ♪
655
00:22:45,472 --> 00:22:47,143
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
656
00:22:47,143 --> 00:22:49,748
♪ Like no one else ♪
657
00:22:49,748 --> 00:22:51,752
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
658
00:22:51,752 --> 00:23:03,141
♪ She drives me crazy
and I can't help myself. ♪
659
00:23:03,191 --> 00:23:07,741
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0